


Single Player

by OhsheisnotFrench



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jenna and Rich are great friends, Jeremy is kinda a dick in this, M/M, Poor Michael Mell, Sadness, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23777212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhsheisnotFrench/pseuds/OhsheisnotFrench
Summary: After the SQUIP, Jeremy is happy. He has friends, a dad who's acting like a dad and the girl of his dreams. Michael on the other hand, has a broken heart and a friendship that is falling apart.
Relationships: Christine Canigula/Jeremy Heere, Jenna Rolan & Michael Mell, Rich Goranski & Michael Mell, onesided jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Single Player

I should be happy.

Jeremy was my best friend. Even after all that had happened, he still meant everything to me. I have no clue what I was thinking. He had the chance he wanted since 7th grade. I should be cheering him on, not sulking to myself. The worst part was, I couldn’t even get mad at Christine. She was the sweetest person I’ve ever met. It would be so unnatural to hate her. So I just watched them from a distance. Why couldn’t I be the one to make him happy? He did all this work to get her and I hate that I’m dragging him down. Well, he doesn’t realize it but I am. I always have to fake a smile whenever he talks about how much he likes her. It’s always “Christine was doing this…” and “Did you see what Christine was wearing?” I wanted to ask him to stop but I couldn’t. He’s never been happier. He has more friends, his dad is finally acting like a dad again and he got his dream girl. One day, he’s just going to leave again. I mean, he’s done it before. No, that was unfair of me to say. He’s changed now. He told me that he wouldn’t do that to me again. I hoped that he wouldn’t but couldn’t fully believe him. I forgave him, but I could never forget what he did.

I think the worst part during the SQUIP was that I didn’t get bullied anymore. They were all focused on Jeremy, they stopped messing with me. I was just invisible to everyone around me. Before, I thought that if I were to disappear, Jeremy would notice and be upset so I never thought about wanting to disappear. I never wanted to be the cause of Jeremy’s sadness. Ever since everything happened though, it’s been different. He had new and better friends. Why would he care if I was gone? He probably wouldn’t even notice.

I’ve been getting close to Rich and Jenna lately. Jenna and Rich both knew what it felt like to be ignored. People didn’t even know Rich went to our school for years. At least people knew I existed. Sure, they only knew me so they could bully me, but at least they knew I was there. Jenna was used by everyone so they could get what they wanted and the moment they were done, they threw her away like she was nothing. She was popular but no one knew anything about her. I assumed it was part of an act she was doing. Turns out, no one cared to ask. Everyone wanted gossip from her. It was always “who’s dating who?” not “how are you Jenna?” After I started talking to them, I felt like they would be the only ones who cared if I were gone. They both knew about how I felt towards Jeremy and comforted me when they could. I was shocked when they asked me who I liked. I mean, Jeremy’s done it before, but that was in 7th grade. I assumed that people just didn’t do that anymore. Jenna and Rich just gave each other a look. 

The PDA the two of them had wasn’t like extreme or anything. They had decency but some days, it just got hard to watch the two of them being all cute during lunch. Whether it be pecks on the cheek or holding hands, sometimes it got to be too much for me. Those days, I’d just sit in the library. Either Jenna or Rich would come and sit with me. Most days it was Jenna. Rich didn’t like the fact that he had to be quiet there and wanted to hang out with Jake. I felt selfish. Not only should I be happy for Jeremy but even if I wasn’t, I shouldn’t have Jenna and Rich try to make me feel better. I know they said it wasn’t a problem for them, but I still felt bad. They shouldn’t have to do any of that. Whenever it came to those days, Jeremy would ask me where I had been. I would just tell him I was working on homework. After a while, I could tell he didn’t believe me but he didn’t say anything. No matter how close I got to Jenna and Rich, Jeremy still was and forever would be my best friend. Even if I wasn’t his anymore.

We would spend less and less time together. That was fair, I didn’t expect him to drop Christine for me. I mean, he’s already dropped me for Christine.

Nice to see where his priorities were.

When we did hang out, he was texting her most of the time. Sometimes I would jokingly say something like “hey, you sure you don’t wanna hang out with her or something?” The tone was a joking one but the words were nothing but the truth. He would then assure me that he wanted to hang out with me; it was just Christine wanted to talk to him. I also wanted to talk to him but I guess that didn’t matter to him. I wasn’t his dream girl so he could just throw me away. He assured me that he still cared about me but it seemed less and less true as time went on. He tried sometimes. He would cancel dates with Christine but then again, he would cancel our hangouts a lot more. Christine then apologized and said that Jeremy said he had no plans. I don’t know what I did to make Jeremy not care about our friendship like he did before. It was almost as if I was the only one who wanted to stay friends. But I didn’t want to lose Jeremy again, so I dealt with it. It was better to me to have Jeremy and do the work to keep us friends than to have him leave my life forever. I miss how things were before, where it didn’t feel like work to keep our friendship alive. It was all so natural before. Back when relationships weren’t what mattered to us. All we cared about was the newest game coming out. Everything was better that way. Back when Jeremy didn’t care about popularity. We had each other's backs and that was good enough for the two of us. Sure, we got bullied, but we had each other through it.

Back when it was just the two of us. Back when it was just a two player game.

Well, I guess it still was just a two player game, I just wasn’t the one playing with him anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I love Michael and he deserves happiness.


End file.
